Who are we to advice the elders? They are full of wisdom and experience. It’s a time to make the real Difference – how to relish the unique role and be cherished. The today’s generation would need the Tips in the coming years when they become grandparents. The changing times have affected the changing lives. A story of a parents concern with their old father is touching and eye opening too.
The parents decide to send away the old father and carried him in a basket to leave him to another place. The grand child sees this and quite understands. He runs to his father and says “Bring the basket back because I will need the same for you ” The parents realize their mistake. So, it is a concern for all generations to keep the relations alive and build the Family tree in cooperation.
Work with – not against parents
It is important in changing times to work with the parents and not against them. Gone are the days when the kids listened and obeyed you. Now is the time of adjustments and offer the role as a grandparent to be of help to a parent in upbringing the grandchildren keeping in tune with the trends. Keep fit and healthy attitude with a healthy mind, positive thoughts and let going rigidity is the key for a unity in progress. Practical assistance is a necessity and the parents who think of parents need, not own, the support offer comes without strings attached.
Grandparents have the wisdom power and understanding. Yet, today’s generation, past, present and future – all require to be updated. ‘We know it all, we raised kids or don’t try to teach us’ attitude is to be shrugged off casually. The last 20 years has seen the influx of knowledge about child development and healthy development of childhood is promoted. Theories of upbringing children keep changing with the times and as seen, the trends have changed that a three-year kid is seen computing and learning in school rather than cuddled up with the parent at home. Hence, the pampering days too are back again. Spare the rod and spoil the child is now the in thing – the more soothe and comfort the baby gets, the more faster the understanding and security. However, tact is to be implied too. Updating with latest happenings and keeping in tune with latest developments would lead to close conversational topics to bridge the gaps too.
Don’t criticize – compare – compete
Support the kind of team work needed in the family. No criticism, comparison or competition in the family. It robs away the individuality. Criticism has the power of being not just an opinion but also hurtful to the person being criticized. Comparing a grandchild to another family member is something we’ve probably all done at one time or another. But comparisons are often said in an uncomplimentary way ‘She is just like her mother’, which scars individuality. ‘She is intelligent than him’ is another unintentional compliment that is given to a child hurting the feelings of another and you don’t even realize such small things! Whatever stories you read, bring toys or offer gifts to the child, the most recognized gift is the word of the mouth to any person.
Build Self Esteem
If a child is loved, affirmed, and it’s mirrored back, that builds self-esteem and resilience, which is a strong indicator of a child’s ability to get through life positively. Loving a grandchild unconditionally is essential to a child’s development. It is not necessary to believe that unconditional love equals spoiling: You can still give kids age-appropriate responsibilities and set behavioral limits. If you get good marks, I will bring you a teddy bear and the grandparent or a parent finds a way into the heart of a kid to tempt him to work hard to bring the desired grade.
Build the Family tree
Grandparents are the family symbol of both – past and future. Our existence assures them that, indeed, our family has roots that they belong to something beyond themselves. When the grandchildren listen to stories of the earlier grandfathers, it gives them a growing identity and connection to the family tree. Grandparents provide the family continuity and so, one day when today’s generation grows up to be a grandparent, they are passing on the wisdom down to their kids and the tree blooms as it grows up high. The impressions leaves as the footprints trail behind.
Memories are cherished fondly through the years and hence, build the Family – Just the right that the kids would love to remember.
Give A + to your ownself
In the process of being a Grandparent, give an A+ for all that you have positively done for the children and grandchildren. You’ve raised a family, lived life, formed many lasting and meaningful relationships and are certainly up to the challenge of your new role. But don’t try to be perfect, always. It is quite possible to be a good-enough grandparent and find alternates on how you can contribute. It is more important to keep the bonds of relationships moving more strong to liven up the generations.
Be a good listener. Be respectable towards your own children and your grandchildren. Your action and reaction are bounced back to you in time to come. Certain attitudes and behavior are now considered to be disrespectable and ego comes in way at times too. Allow your juniors to experience life their way instead of viewing through your sight. Ask questions but be a good listener and offer wisdom ways with implied tact. After all, experience is the best master and you got to live only once!
Be a Child Again
To the child, the world is endlessly fascinating. Becoming a grandparent gives you permission to be playful again, to explore the world through the eyes of your grandchild – and to have fun while you do it! Childhood phase turns back again after years in form of grandchildren once a person passes the phases of life from childhood to teenage hood to role of an adult parent to grandparent. After all, there is a kid hidden in every human being.
Grandparents’ Day on Sundays
September 7, 2014
September 13, 2015
September 11, 2016
September 10, 2017
September 9, 2018
September 8, 2019
September 13, 2020
* Article from my Book ‘Guardian of Angels’
Pic : ilaxi with Sudhir and Hridaan