Parenting shy kids is often a block to overcome. Quite often parents stumble to say “My son is shy” or “He’s the shy one in the family” – This can backfire. People would often tag his as a shy one and treat him differently and reinforce his fear that something is wrong with him. Professional Football player and broadcaster Merlin Olsen almost gave up high school football because primary school classmates had labelled him “clumsy’. He felt so shy that he was reluctant to join in games. Olsen’s parents urged him to reject the labels and stand up for himself. One day, out of his annoyance, Olsen taught a child a lesson who teased him and after this incident, it was wonders that he came out of shyness. Schoolmates didn’t bully him anymore. It is here that one needs to be sympathetic and not critical to a child’s shy feelings. Boost the child’s ego. Such shy kids do have a poor self image and need special help dealing with rejection. Praise his strengths and brush off his weaknesses.
Here are some Kidsfreesouls tips to help to shrug off the ‘shy blues’ :
1. Build Confidence : Shyness robs a child many opportunities. Build the confidence. Praise his strengths and encourage him when he is a loser. Your motivation always counts.
2. Boost the Ego: Don’t let the child down. Every child lives with self esteem. Boost his ego and inspire him at every step. A shy child often back away. Instead, motivate him by saying, “Yes, you did it last time, You can do it now’
3. Teach art of conversation: Shy child often lack communication. Maybe, not. However, encouraging to talk with topics of interest may trigger innerself and they may engage in conversation to opine their views. Some children who do not speak are presumed as ‘shy nature’ whereas in real sense, they need to communicate, discuss, debate with others. This will help to shrug off ‘shy blues.’
4. Family bonds: A family bonded together makes a big difference. Let there be closeness and a unity in the family. Often the kids are keen observers and whatever they see and hear, reflects on their attitude. A stressed child is hurt out of love for the parents if there is even a slight bickering or fight between them. This may turn to his withdrawal and signals of introvert attitude and turn him to be ‘silent’ or ‘shy’ out of hurt feelings and lack of confidence.
5. Teach social skills: A simple ‘Hi or Hello’ – a wishing here and there, on occasions and even being open to thoughts. Simply let the kids engage for a while even when your friends are around instead of shooing them off to their room. Do not ever tell them, “Go to your room” while you try to teach them manners. Help them to be courteous to say, Hi and talk to the guest for some time before they leave you alone. Nobody likes to be ‘unwanted.’
6. Engage in Activities: If you find your child shying away or rather slow to communication, engage in activities that calls for debating, group activities, etc. Kinds vibe well together while they work, play or choose for creative activities like coloring, music, sports, playing computer games, etc. Children love Activities of their interest which keep them live and going.
7. Ask for help at school: Shyness often shows itself at school. Talk to your child’s teacher. Inform her of special interests about which the child may be questioned and so gradually, the teacher can encourage him to take courage to answer more questions spontaneously.
Many times, parents often get stressed with children esp. in vacations when they constantly get bored playing indoors. Call in playmates into your home instead of sending him out saying “Go to Bins House to play” . Throw parties like ‘archie reading’, ‘cartoon watching’, ‘singing hour’ – support with their favorite simple things to eat like wafers, biscuits and cookies, sandwiches and soft drinks. Children will love this and so will your child.
It’s patience that is all the way needed by a parent or a teacher to tackle with the issue of shyness. It’s understanding, patience to support and patience not to demand results. Loving way makes wonders and kids can be pulled out of his shyness, just by ‘Tender Loving Care’.
Keep the Faith!