International Women’s Day - 8th March
(My first print media article that appeared in The Times of India and Sambhaav Newspapers)

Instill an appreciation of learning : Don’t let education be a mugging experience. Help kids to be aware and informed about themselves and others, the world and its galaxies. Your examples teaches joy, curiosity and love of learning.

Set a good example : Your child will follow the footsteps. So take care, beware! Your kids are not only listening but watching too. Set a good example. When they see you are an ongoing learner reading newspapers, books or mags, the are most likely to read too. If you adopt to vices, the kids too are watching and may follow you. If you are not organized, probably the child will not be organized too.  Right at time of exams, the notes will be lost.

Set parameters on study time :  Tution teachers are almost not required if a parent can spare an hour or two and help kids with homework hassles and lessons. It’s the time to be set up – time for lessons, reading, homework, television viewing, phone calls, playing a game and so on. If there is unrestricted television viewing or phone privileges, discourage this during study time. Teach the power of uninterrupted concentration. Make regular time for studying.

Converse : While a mom stays busy, a dad can keep the conversation live with the kid and be friendly. Talk ‘what you did in school’ or ‘who are your friends’ or ‘what is your favorite subject and why’ ‘Was the remark or less marks because you didn’t understand or because you were scared’ and such many questions will ease up the child’s fears and open up, speak up to find way with a touch schooling to get those As. A fatherly attitude is important. Never argue with the child. If you are excited about new books, friends, progress, the kids will engage in the conversation and be frank and honest. Allow the kid to express his own ideas.

Influence : Influence plays a big role. Teach the child,  time management skills. Coping up with school assignments, friends, extra curricular activities, family and personal time left over is to be pre-determined for an easy flow of the day. Help the kid to list out ‘To do’ things daily or weekly that he wish to accomplish. Set priorities. Highlight the tasks in ‘To do’ list as per most urgent and set schedules and estimate the length of time necessary to perform each task. Long term projects can be broken into fragments in manageable parts so the child can begin on them, not wait until the last minute to do something that can’t be completed in a short period of time.A dad can help out with time management in a systematic manner as he himself has to adhere to perfect schedules of ‘Time Management’ to cope up in his business field.

Homework hassles & help: Parents too become students along with their kids. This can be a frustrating and tension filled experience for both parent and child. Sometimes, moms cannot cope up to help the kids or lack a maths ability, a dad can always spare some time to tackle the tough homework hassles of the child. For whatever reason, if this is not possible, a tution teacher help is a blessing but it is always best to follow up what is taught to the child and be sure that it is not a ‘mugging’ experience. Children do enjoy sorting for a shoulder for help even for the easiest spellings or math problem. Encourage them to learn on own with right methods and tricks of phonic drills or math calculations. Keep in mind you’re your patience is the key to child’s success. Encourage but do not demand for A levels. Let the child feel that you are proud of him and appreciate him with praise for positive efforts for achievements. Do not criticize if the child fails somewhere but be tactful and sure not to name-call a child having a rough time grasping a concept. Avoid saying ‘Do it now’ It is important not to get discouraged or over-excited with child’s progress and these are the trial times for the Dad and Mom as well in nurturing relationship with kids and themselves.

Teacher & tutor ‘business’ meeting : In some cases, Parent-teacher interaction occur for one of two reasons : their child is behaving badly or their child is having serious problems keeping up with the schoolwork. This notion is wrong. A dad should take keen interest in the progress of the child apart from Mom’s active participation. Don’t wait for the teacher’s approach but schedule appointment and take intiative to call on the teacher/tution teacher and know the progress. Speak the teacher’s language and she will report exactly how the child is doing. Do not feel let down or embarrassed if the report is negative but understand the problem and help the parent-teacher method towards betterment of the child. A child’s behavior may be different than that at home, so be ready to face up his educational as well as moral and value learning progress in a supportive manner. Some parents feel ‘My child is the best’ out of love, let this not hinder the child’s development. Sort to ways for positive value based educational feedback.

Goal setting : A dad can be a role model to set the goals for the child. This is a critical key to success. Short term as well as long term goals. Make them choose realistic and attainable but still, challenging goals. Put them in writing and set up a calendar or timetable by which progress can be measured. A child may be able to do part of Piano solo by end of month, further practice for next month can make him play the piece perfect on stage. Check out that the written piece of paper where the child has set his goals is not dumped in a corner of a drawer or thrown in dustbin because this will do no good and you and the child will forget to think further.

Encourage dreams & give rewards : Teaching assertive skills and making the child feel their capabilities is probing their skills individually.Each success stimulates the child’s efforts who soon has a store-house of positive reminders of being capable, a ‘can-do’ person. Moms often get irritant and feel down with failures of the child but failures are not bad sometimes. Failures make kids realize their mistakes and a Dad’s supportive role makes him realize ‘I didn’t study hard enough; I’ll have to watch less tv or talk less on phones now’ or ‘I’ve had headache’ sort of excuse is no good. Children love to dream and dive into fantasy. Let them dream for great chances and inspire them to spring out fruitful results next time. Give rewards but do not make him feel that he has done the best if he has scored lower than A plus. Do not blame the system but encourage him to work harder for those desired A plus.