BRAT KIDS OR LOVABLE ANGELS?
Sometime ago, I came across a parent who wanted to enroll her child to my Library and she labelled her child as ‘Bratatouille’ – She almost bitterly blurred out words of hidden anger and frustration as she even considered herself ‘Unlucky’ to have such a kid. She wanted me to counsel her child and help her out in teaching him right manners.
Well, as the child takes the first steps, parents often are thrilled with the experience of the little gestures and smiles of the baby. They pamper around and call nick names. As he grows up to understanding age of 4-12 years, the child becomes a brat as like a monster, shouts and screams, giggles at guests or never leave you alone. So, what went wrong? Why do they act this way? Ever wonder about their attitudes and you come closer to the answer “Why my child acts the way I don’t like’. Some reasons can be:
1. The child needs your attention. Maybe you are a working mom or too busy in your life with other things to do, the child is often neglected. Especially, when you don’t have time to listen to his sweet, silly talks. Here’s when he finds challenging to draw your attention.
2. Today’s kids are savvy. They know the tricks of the trade to appear angelic and they tell all kinds of tales to make believe. Let them feel you are much clever and can see their tricks. Do not get into arguments but nevertheless allow them to over-rule you.
3. Jealousy is always have deep roots especially siblings which turn them nasty. A child feels that the other is the apple of the eye of the parent. So, treat both equal. Do not praise much or criticize in front of the other. Pay equal attention, give equal pocket money or favor them equally. Don’t let them feel down or lower.
4. In social gatherings, don’t just ignore the child or else, he is sure to create tension while he tries to draw your attention. When guests turn up, the child may bang on the music loud or play the games on their PS2 to irritate you. Hence, occupy them in their interest and teach the right manners.
5. Kids with no activities often get bored. Books, television, friends or games – all often get them distracted after some time. Keep them busy as bored equals naughty equals brats.
6. Do not React too far. Avoid their uncomfortable questions and keep your cool. Silence and tact brings in results of good behavior. A yell, spanking is a big ‘NO’ as love, care and understanding works.
7. Don’t complain – to your family members, teachers or their friends about their mis-behavior. Every child is different and needs love and understanding. Reacting adds to hurt self esteem and further disturbs his and your peace of mind.
8. Introvert kids are often the result of neglect. Reason out and convince that you have your own job and friends just as he has his friends and school.
Some common traits of bad behavior child
- Constantly Throws Tantrums
- Whines from the Moment He Wakes Up from sleep
- Hits, Push and pull, grabs and act funny
- Acts Bossy and sometimes embarass in front of others
- Acts defiant and calls for bribes
- Talks rude and rubbish
- Controls your life and caretakers by screams and demands
- Gets bored too quick
Children who are lazy, over stimulated, ungrateful and greedy often are a breed of disorganized, over stressed, frustrated or just who’ve adopted Negative, Authorative and Permissive parenting styles.
Psychotherapist Robi Ludwig, Psy.D, Katie Bugbee, Care.com’s global parenting expert, and Nancy Samalin, author of “Loving Without Spoiling” both agree that we’re living in an age of child-centric homes. Whether both parents work and feel guilty for spending too much time at the office or they just can’t stand to see their children cry (or are too tired to deal with it). Permissive parenting has created an entitled set of kids. “Being too permissive usually involves our bribing and pleading and often giving in. “It means saying ‘No’, but they are not sure and mean ‘Probably not’ or ‘I’m not sure” which may feel loving in the moment, but gives the child too much power.” Some parents miss child’s feeling and tend to spank or be Authorative which only leads to make a stubborn child. Conservative parents are possessive to their demands and almost suspicious. They punish, yell, hit and such kids remember this experience when they grow up. Neither Authorative or Permissive Parenting instill positive approach.
Instead, Parenting with Love, care, patience and understanding demonstrate values and are considerate in their disciplined upbringing. Moreover, Parents who give Temptation is sure to invite troubles and is advisable to treat kids right. “I will bring a chocolate for you” or “I will take you to Merry go round if you do this” is like icing the cake and eventually turning sour as temptations don’t work and the child starts throwing tantrums…in comes physical and emotional verbal blows…
We don’t call children brats but it’s good parenting without guilt. Render discipline without anger and reward for good behavior. Always do not over-schedule yourself nor your child’s work. Have play time and outings together. A friendly and loving attitude establish better relationships. Enjoy.
Pic copyright : Kidsfreesouls (Hridaan)