Jokes By Kids

Jokes By Kids

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From Editor’s Desk
Choose Happiness…Say “Cheese”

A happy smile on your face cannot be begged, borrowed or stolen but can be shared, exchanged, help to build confidence and chase away the blues. A good laugh is like a sunshine. Let there be 6 to 9 entries in your Happiness Account. Ten minutes of anger makes a person lose 600 seconds of Happiness! So, Don’t Worry…Be Happy! 

 

ilaxi patel
Editor, Kidsfreesouls.com 

MERRY LAUGHING

 Along with Walks, equally important is Laughter. Walking makes for a long life but Laughter is the secret of success as it is the best medicine or a tranquilizer with no side effects. Laughter pumps out the extra energy and stimulates the lungs for better functioning. Laughing aloud is like chasing away the blues and a expression of   feeling which is brought by seeing, remembering, imagining, thinking, hearing and just be light hearted. The ability to laugh is the essence of love which is immortal and has no grievances to trace stress or traumas as it leaves behind trails of sorrows, worries or the sort. When a person laughs, it is sheer joy, delight, amusement, calmness of mind and lightness of the heart. Laughter brings sunshine in life. It builds up the mood, creates opportunities and invites friends. It is said ‘Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you are alone’ Therefore, Think, Thank and Laugh.

LAUGHTER IS YOGA – LAUGH YOUR WAY TO LIFE!

JOKES BY   TULSA VED (Follow my Blog)

Patient (to nurse): Sister, Will the Doctor stitch up the wounds nicely?
Nurse : Don’t worry. Earlier, he was a Tailor!

Megs: Bins, What will happen if the sun does not rise one day?
Bins: There will be a rise in our electricity bill.

Bins: Who smokes the most in your house?
Deep: My Chimney, of course.

Lady (to Conductor): Is the Bus running on time?
Conductor : No Madam. It is running on wheels.

One morning, Bins and Megs were fighting over a bar of chocolate. Their parents who came there, split the bar into two and gave a piece to each of them. A few days later, the parents were arguing over a 500 note. Bins and Megs who saw this, split the note into two and thrust the piece into the hand of the stunned parents.

JOKES BY  ANERI SHAH

Patient: Oh, I’m really nervous about my heart operation.
Surgeon: Don’t worry. In all my experience as a Heart Surgeon, only one patient has died
Patient: How many patients have you operated on?
Surgeon : You are my Second!

Air Hostess: What’s the matter, Sir? You look nervous
Passenger: I am nervous. I don’t like flying
Air Hostess: Well, you should take a tip from our pilot.
Passenger: What does he do?
Air Hostess : He shuts his eyes!

Charlie: Everyone needs a feel wanted. My dear old Mum wants me.
Joe: The Police wants me!

Little Boy: My Daddy’s a branch manager
Old Lady: Really? What kind of firm does he manage?
Little Boy: None. He looks after trees.

JOKES BY   HEET SHAH

Mother: What’s the matter, Bins?
Bins: I’m bored
Mother: Why don’t you go and play football with Megs
Bins: I am tired of kicking him around!

Mom: Doctor, my baby has swallowed a Fountain pen: What shall I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil till I get there!

JOKES BY   AYUSHI VORA

Abhay: Even at the age of 95, your grandpa’s teeth and hair are wonderful. What is the secret?
Vikas: It is simple and it is no secret. He uses a set of false teeth and a wig


Two friends, Raju and Sumit were talking. 

Raju: I remember all the answers but I didn’t remember any questions.
Sumit: Than learn only questions


 Teacher: What would happen if there is IIIrd World War?

Ayushi: There would be a new lesson in history. 


 Raju: I am feeling homesick

Mom: But this is your home.
Raju: I know and I am sick of it. 


 Dad: Hey! Why have you painted the walls.

Son: Because it is a drawing room


 Teacher: Why does wood float on water?

Ayushi: Maybe, because wood knows how to swim


 Bins: With which hand do you write? Right or left?

Raju: I write with a pen


 Doctor : Where did I keep my pen?

Nurse: Sir, I think you have kept it in the patient’s mouth instead of a thermometer


 Teacher: What happens to the gold if it is exposed to the air.

Bins: It is stolen!


 Power supply had been cut off in an area. 

Brother: Ram, why don’t you light a candle. I can’t see in the dark.
Ram: It is still dark. Let the electricity come and than I can light the candle.


 Ram: I have a nice joke in my mind about a banana peal.

Ravi: It must have slipped from your mind.


 Customer: Do you serve frogs here?

Waiter: Yes, sir. Sit down. We serve anybody.


 Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up

Doctor: Don’t worry. You will get stirred up when you will see the bills.


 Husband to the wife: What will you do after I die?

Wife: I will go to the Insurance Company.


 A little girl at a fruit shop with a banana peal in her hand. Vendor: Little girl what do you want?

Girl: I want a refill for the peal


 Teacher: Bins, you have put your shoes on the wrong feet

Bins: They are only the feet I have sir.

JOKES BY  SHAIMI JHAVERI

Son: Is it true, An apple a day keeps a Doctor away?
Dad: Yes, my son.
Son: Than, give me an apple quickly.
Dad: Why?
Son: When I hit the ball, it broke the Doctor’s window and now, he is chasing me. So I want to keep the Doctor Away.


Gopal: Mohan, a few months back, you father’s complexion was black but now he is looking fair. How is that?

Mohan: That is because my father was working in a coal mine and now he is working in a flour mill.

JOKES BY MUNJAAL DESAI

Shop Keeper: Which phool (flower is called phool in gujarati language) you want?
Tom said: I want April Fool. Can I get it here?

JOKES AND MORE HA HA HA

A restaurant owner summoned a new waiter to his office. “You have been here less than a week and already broken more dishes than the total of your week’s salary. How can you handle this problem in the future?”
The waiter said, “Well sir, You can give me a raise”

Wife : I saw a dream last night that you gifted me a beautiful dress
Hubby: In your next dream, you can wear the same and dance with me.


 Megs: Bin, do you drink tea?

Bins : Nope, not at all.
Megs: Do you watch movies?
Bins: Nope, I am not at all interested in them
Megs: Do you drink whisky and smoke cigarettes?
Bins: Nope, they are injurious to health!
Megs: Wonderful, it seems you do not have any bad habits.
Bins: Not really, I tell small lies!


 Megh: Tell me a place where nothing grows?

Hem: My father’s headJ

Bins: Megs, I had a narrow escape. The passenger Bus passed over me.
Megs: Really? How did you manage to escape?
Bins: I was standing under a flyover!

Dee : Is this watch waterproof?
Salesperson: Sure, sir. Once the water gets in, it doesn’t come out


 Teacher: What is your ambition?

Student: I want to be a Politician
Teacher: Why?
Student: Because I am very good at making false promises

Megs: my dog has learnt to
speak 1 to 10
Bins: I know!
Megs : who told you?
Bins: My dog


Megs: Were the maths question easy for you?

Bins: The questions were easy but the answers were hard

Mom: Bins, why are your hands so dirty?
Bins: I just cleaned my face with my hands that is why


 Teacher : Can you tell me who built the Taj Mahal?

Jimmy : Engineers and labourers, sir.

Megs : I just received an anonymous valentine gift?
Bins : From whom?

Teacher : Jimmy, who is a chairman?
Jimmy: A man who sits in a chair, sir.

Teacher : Dee, tell me the opposite of some
Dee: More, ma’am
Teacher : Good. Now tell me the opposite of handsome
Dee : Hand more, ma’am

Teacher : When 5 apples, 2 oranges, 1 pineapple, 2 mangoes and 2 bunches of grapes are added, what will you get? Bins, tell me please?
Bins: Fruit chat, sir.(Fruit chat is Indian dish – fruits + masala + sprinkled lemon)

Megs: Bins, do you write with your right hand or left hand?
Bins: I write with a pen!


 Diner : Waiter, why is this tea very cold?

Waiter : Sir, we got this tea from Darjeeling ( Darjeeling is a hill station where it is chilly weather)

Son : Is it true that ‘An apple a day, keeps a Doctor away?’
Dad : Yeah!
Son : Then given me an Apple quickly
Dad : Why?
Son : Because, when I hit the ball, it broke the Doctor’s glass window. Now, he is chasing me. So, to keep him away, I want an Apple


 Dad : Bins, go and see who is outside the door.

Bins: Postman, Dad
Dad : Give him that letter I wrote and ask him to post it in the letter box


 Patient : Doc, what I need is something to stir me up

Doctor : Don’t worry. You will surely get stirred up when you see the bill

Lady to a passerby : I want to go to the Hospital. Please help me.
Passerby : Just go and stand in the middle of the road

Boy friend: I have brough you some sweets because you the sweetest person in this world!
Girl friend: Thanks, even I have brought you something, Nuts! 


 I stalled my car at Traffic light and could not get started. The lights went from green to yellow and from yellow to red and from red to yellow and green again. But I could not more the car. A cop came over and said “Hey, haven’t we got any colors that you like?”

Three telephone repair men were climbing telephone poles. A woman passing by her car saw them and said : “Look at those darn fools – they think I have not driven a car before”

Anand: Ajay, can I borrow that book of yours ‘How to become a millionaire?’
Ajay: Sure, here it is
Anand: But half of the pages are missing!
Ajay: So what? Isn’t half a million enough for you?


 Teacher : Who were the first Human beings?

Pupil : Adam & Eve
Teacher : And what nationality they were?
Pupil : Indian, of course.
Teacher : How do u know?
Pupil : Easy. They had no roof over their heads, no clothes to wear and only one apple to eat between them – and they called it Paradise.


 A writer telephoned to the doctor : “My son has swallowed my pen”

The doctor said : “I will be there in half an hour. What will you do in the meantime?”
The writer snapped back : “I shall manage with a pencil.”


 John : ‘Is that Father Brown, the Headmaster?’ 

Headmaster : ‘Yes’
John : ‘Today John can’t come to school because he has chicken pox’
Headmaster : ‘That’s all right. By the way, may I know who’s talking??’
John : ‘My father Sir!!!’

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